I’m a Southern California girl, and an escort in San Diego. So you might think that I’m full of confidence and fear nothing. Not so! I’m first and foremost a person, just like everyone else.
Last summer I jumped out of a plane from 14,000 feet in the air. As the plane rose higher and higher into the Australian skies and the people and buildings below me turned into microscopic ants, besides the ringing pain in my ears, pounding thumps in my chest and the feeling of a strange man strapped to my back (no, I’m not talking an escort client this time!), the only thing I could think was, wow, I’m never going to be scared again in my life after I do this, right?
The other day I saw someone I’d been seriously trying to avoid in the market and I swear that same pounding in my chest came back like I was in the clouds again, en route to free falling out of a plane, except this time I was standing in the produce aisle looking for celery.
This concept has always boggled my mind. How come we get so nervous about such mundane, ordinary things? Let’s be honest, we all get some serious butterflies before taking a test, playing a game, seeing someone we haven’t seen in a while, hooking up for sex for the first time with a person, reading a speech in public.
On the one hand nerves are great. When I was little I played basketball for a really long time and before every game I would get really nervous, and my dad would always tell me if you’re not nervous then you know something is wrong.
It’s kind of true. The fast beating of your heart, jitters in your stomach or sweaty palms are just little reminders that your blood is pumping through your veins and your heart is indeed beating and you must be doing something right. Even as an escort working for the SD Babes escort agency, I still get a little nervous before each client meeting. You’d think after doing this for so long, and meeting new guys so often, a professional escort would never get the butterflies. But I still do.
But why are we scared of each other? Scared of ourselves? Scared of these little things? How come we get so nervous to confront a teacher or a friend when there’s no doubt we’ve been through much scarier obstacles, weather it was bungee jumping or losing someone you love.
I’m not saying we should walk around like placid grey blobs. Nerves and butterflies and excitement add color and vibrancy to our lives.
But next time your heart is pounding before a test, or you are way more nervous than you should be before a date, think about all of the really scary stuff you’ve been through — the terrors of growing up, standing by while someone you love transforms into a completely different person, or maybe it’s not hella deep.
Maybe it was parasailing or hang gliding or cliff jumping. Maybe it was just a super intense game of Madden that got your blood pumping pretty fast, but hey that’s a lot scarier than the person in the market, or the quiz sitting on your desk.
Anyway, the butterflies we all feel are just the mammalian fight or flight response to our sympathetic nerve system.
So essentially we should all just chill out. Now you’ll need to excuse me, the escort agency called and I have to go meet a new date.