The holidays are quickly approaching meaning food, booze, travel and family introductions to your new boo are all coming up fast. It's a combination that could go off swimmingly or crash and burn. Let's hope your love interest knows how to keep it together.
Regardless, with the excessive onslaught of family time and stressful travel comes the need for a little relaxation, whether it's with yourself or with your lover, who is now scarred by your family's antics. Plus there's no reason that your tacky sweater clad holiday can't be as romantic as it is family-oriented, even if you are sleeping in your childhood bed. So in order to make the most of your time, plan your suitcase accordingly.
What do I mean? Pack a toy or two or at least condoms or lube, duh! Because nothing says stuff my turkey like a little turkey stuffing. Heyo.
Pumpoza Penis Pumps
But traveling with sex toys and all of their glorious accoutrement, such as penis pumps or a fantasy door swing from Swingeroos, isn't as easy it seems, especially if you're flying. There are some serious sex toy travel tips you should keep in mind before you hit up TSA, check them out below and let us know what you plan to fly with this holiday season.
Leave the whips and chains at home. It's your parents house, the S&M can wait until you get back home. These are not going to go well with TSA, whether you're checking or carrying a bag. Instead, opt for discrete toys that look like ordinary objects. Adam and Eve carries toys that look like lipstick, mascara and even rubber ducks. TSA won't even think twice.
Don't want to purchase anything new, that's cool. Just be sure to take out your batteries before hopping on a plane, train or automobile. This will keep your toy from inevitably going off (because that's your luck) and ensure that your batteries won't spontaneously leak in your bag — thus ruining your toy and all of your clothes. Good luck explaining that one. Place your batteries in a separate bag and you'll be good to go.
You will also want to lay your toy between layers of clothes. This will make your toy less obvious and keep you from having it be the first thing a TSA agent sees when inspecting your bag ... don't worry about that, that's just, err. um. That's my. Never mind. But in all realness, this will also keep your toy safe during any in-flight turbulence or hasty luggage throws.
Not bringing all the toys, just packing a few condoms and lubes? Keeping it light, I like that. Just don't make the mistake of throwing your bottle of lube straight into your luggage or bathroom bag, this is a recipe for a sticky explosion and not the good kind. No matter how tight, how secure, and how unopened a bottle may be ... it's going to leak. So do yourself a favor and store it separately in a plastic bag and make sure it's under 3 ounces.
Male Sex Doll
Be prepared to get searched and have your toy found. It doesn't matter how many times you've flown and not had your bag searched, this will undoubtedly be the time it happens, because that's just how it goes. If you've stuffed one of your deflated male sex dolls into your suitcase, this might prove embarrassing. Know that TSA has seen this kind of stuff a million times. Nothing surprises them anymore, so don't feel the need to have to explain or apologize for what's in your bag. It's your bag and your holiday after all, you'll spend it how you please. Also know that any TSA member that takes it upon themselves to leave you a note about your contents will get fired. So pack to your heart's content!
That said, check your bag if you're planning on packing anything major. It will be a lot less hassle in the end. Batteries, separate bags and substantial padding tips still apply.
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